Playing the victim

So, I’d just got in from a really hectic day at work, I was mentally drained, but physically I could run a marathon. So I did… (not quite), but I ran and ran and the rain was pouring, and energy was just pouring out of me.

I got in and didn’t really feel much of a sense of relief, so I decided to have a bath, because if really pushing myself wasn’t going to shake this maybe I should try the opposite right? A bath would calm me and centre me again, and what better thing to do for ultimate relaxation than listen to an inspiring podcast?

I’d put on an episode from Christen Brown on – and if you haven’t heard of this lady I would seriously recomend her, she specialises in relationships but that’s not really what I go to listen to her about. She’s a very centred woman, who has experienced and been through a lot, but she maintains faith with the Universe and she’s all about keeping an eye out for signs that will help guide us on our paths.

In this particular episode, she was explaining how God helps us in mysterious ways, and sometimes if we don’t question the things that happen around us and take them as signs to progress and move forward then we end up playing the victim, our Ego takes over inside and we get all defensive, the ‘I don’t deserve this’ comes forward.

That was it. And at the time in the bath I didn’t realise. But as soon as I went downstairs for dinner I realised there was this knot of tension inside me, I wasn’t myself and I was aware of that and then it clicked. I have been playing the victim this whole time.

I was making it out as though my life was so hard, everything was working against me and it wasn’t fair, I felt mentally and spiritually stuck, I’ve been uninspired to write my blog and I’ve been struggling in my job. I felt like the Universe was against me and in thinking this I was sinking deeper into the mud. I was getting myself even more sticky and stuck, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

If I really thought about it for a second I would realise that the Universe had actually been providing me with everything I had asked for. I had the job, my social life has got 10X better than it used to be. (I mean fuck, when I was in a bad place with anxiety even seeing those people I felt closest to was hard because I had become so insecure.) I have met someone who I’m pretty convinced is the male version of me we get along so well!

In all, I should be really happy. So why wasn’t I? Why wasn’t I progressing?

Because I was playing victim.

It’s time for me to man up, if something isn’t working I really need to put in the time and energy to make something else work that would fulfill me more.

This isn’t me admiting defeat in the respect that I’m going to force myself to pursue something I strongly dislike, this is me telling myself and you too, that there is another way. The Universe is on your side, but the Universe can only do so much.

It will provide you with the ingrediants, but you have to make the cake.

Have a beautiful evening my loves, I hope you enjoyed this post, it’s time to get our mogo on and start inspiring ourselves, bring those frequencies higher and start loving ourselves again. Because we are awesome.

All my love,

HG

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Resilience

This is a word that I had and still do struggle to come to terms with every now and then.

I’m the sort of girl that wants to be resilient through everything, push through the hard days, hold a straight face at rude clients and keep my head high when I do something wrong.

But, truth is I do struggle every now and then. But I’m human, we all do.

Today at work I witnessed someone have a bit of a breakdown, and I felt that. I haven’t had one (at least not publicly at work🥴) but I empathised with that on a level!

It made me realise how good it is sometimes to cry it out, to get rid of all that stress and built up emotion in one big wave… then it crashes down onto the shore and you feel a little more at peace again.

Sometimes it’s like that, we want to be strong and resilient through it all but we must remember that it’s okay to have a moment every now and then.

Today I was reading a really amazing blog about female entrepreneurs, and you know what I was super inspired by these women.

It made me realise that my resilience and faith in the not yet seen must be super strong in times like this.

Times of uncertainty and change are some of the greatest times in our lives, we’re bound to have wobbles. But it’s the faith, it’s the reliance that keeps us going and that’s what makes an entrepreneur and that’s everything I inspire to become!

On my morning walk today I listened to a new podcast, I can’t remember the dudes name but regardless of that he was speaking about the difference between FAITH and CONFIDENCE.

He was explaining how we may not always have the confidence to do things, we may never have the confidence to do something. But that doesn’t matter, because if you have faith that everything is going to work out you will be RESILIENT and you will make it work.

That’s something I will try to live by now, because if you’re constantly waiting for that confidence to do something, there’s a good chance it’ll never come. There’s too many ‘what ifs’.

If you have faith, anything is possible, and faith makes you resilient.

All my love,

HG

Hopping on the roller coaster that only goes up

Good evening beautiful world and welcome back to my blog! It’s been a while and all I can ask is that you’re forgiving of me, since I did start a new job recently and finding a new routine has been a little tricky at times.

It’s all about maintaining a balance, am I right? I mean in my opinion that’s the most important thing, to have a work/ life balance. For me right now my work is not my life, one day I hope it is, I hope my work is something I enjoy so much I don’t even consider it a job. I won’t stop working until I get there, but for now, I must keep my head screwed on and held high.

How do I do that? I motivate myself every day, and I honestly feel like a morning routine plays such a huge part in this for me.

Don’t get me wrong like I do enjoy my job, everyone has the off day where perhaps things didn’t go too well, or you’re super sleepy as you’ve had a rough night so the day ahead may seem like a huge milestone to overcome, but you shouldn’t HATE your job. That’s super important too, if you’re job is the reason for your lowness, change it. Simple.

You may think- that’s a huge risk… but in reality it’s an even bigger risk to stay in that job and risk being miserable for more years than you would have to be.

I motivate myself daily to do the best I can and keep my goals in sight, because I know exactly where I want to be in 10 years time. Hell yeah I’ve wrote a mantra that describes how my life will be and it bloody well will because I’ve told myself it will. When I really want something, I don’t stop until I get it, that’s my mentality.

Whenever I’m feeling low or super down, my anxiety rises and I start on the negative thoughts about my life, my job, the ‘am I doing the right thing?’ questions arise. I could quite easily get swamped, but every time I can pull myself out of that by recentering. How do I do that?

Writing. I honestly think it’s the biggest thing for me staying focused. By writing down negative thoughts and turning them into positives, motivating yourself on paper you will start to see the lack of logic in how you’re thinking. So often when we’re getting low our thoughts are irrational and don’t make sense, yet we still manage to convince ourselves they’re reigning truths!

That’s your ego talking, that’s your lower self scaring you into submission because it thinks its ‘looking after you.’ By searching for rationality and seeing sense you are so much more likely to connect to your higher self. Writing for me is a blessing.

You know I’m ranting away on here like a mad woman because I feel like I have so much to tell you guys, because I freaking love to write.

Find something you truly love, something that’ll open your mind to wider possibilties and cancel out that lower voice in your head. For me, especially in a time in my life where I’m vulnerable to negativity- because starting a new job is never easy, I need to connect to my higher self to stay motivated.

If this is you too, I believe in you, you’ve got this!!! Keep your head high folks, and take your seat on the roller coaster that only goes up.

All my love,

HG

The Letter we should all write to ourselves…

Dear me,

I am beautiful, bold, brave, courageous and kind. I am doing amazing, working towards all my goals.

I am grateful for everything the Universe has gifted me so far, and I have even more gratitude for everything that is to come.

I am so strong. I have continued walking even in the hardest, darkest days; through rejection, anger and emotional states. I am still standing.

Everything I have been through has humbled me and made me into a stronger, better person.

There are no negatives in anything, just love and lessons to be learnt from.

I will constantly do the things I love, that keep me focused and inspire me to go after my biggest aspirations.

I am so proud of who I am. I love myself for staying true to who I am through it all.

Thank you Universe,

Hannah

… thought I’d share this. It’s a letter I wrote to myself one morning, sometimes I find writing down positive affirmations can really help if you’re not in the best mood. By doing this daily you’ll eventually start to believe them too, try it for yourself perhaps. Also I want to apologise for being MIA again. I have some important shifts happening in my life right now, things are beginning to re-align, and I’m excited.

All my love,

HG

A lesson

Good morning beautiful world, how is everyone? I have to say I’m in higher spirits than I have been this week, and that’s something. Recently I’ve had the time to think a lot about everything, and I remembered something Oprah Winfrey had said in her book- What I know for sure.

… and that is that in everything there is a lesson. Whether something good or bad is currently happening in your life there is always something positive to learn from it. It’s easy for me to say- “I wish I hadn’t taken that job a month ago (which I worked in for only 2 days due to its toxic nature)”, and although I have a right to feel that way I’m looking at it with my negative spectacles on… and we all know that’s not good.

If we switch to the positive spectacles, we can say- “this is good because…” and it changes everything. Within everything in life there is a positive, whether your cats just died or you got fired from your job there is always something to take from that which is a lesson, and with that you can work from it and make something amazing happen.

“Everything- and I really mean EVERYTHING in life happens for a reason.”

You can make that reason whatever you want, because you have the power to change your life for the better, every day when you wake up you choose how you’re going to live your day. Choose love and happiness over negativity. Choose joy over frustration and anger.

It’s not always easy to remember, and trust me I forget too! I forget on some days, and it’s easy to when things get hard. Unemployment is literally my worst fear and I’m living in it currently! But you have to see things with the positive glasses on. We can all do this no matter what you’re living with. And the biggest lesson of all to learn?

Patience.

Patience is a virtue, it’s not easy especially when you’re living in a world which is running at 100000 miles per hour all the time. But good things come to those who wait, and you can’t rush a master piece. Maintain that faith that better things are coming, live each day with positivity, radiate love and joy and you’ll see.

When it happens it happens, but you’ll look back and realise that your patience paid off.

All my love,

HG

Keeping it real

Hello beautiful world. So it’s the evening here in England currently, but I wanted to write just because I know I love writing, is that okay with you guys? I hope so…

Today I had a bad day, for me a very bad day. I felt as bad as I did back at the beginning of this year, when my anxiety and low mood was at an all time high. I just wanted to write to prove to you guys that everyone has bad days, today was just one of those, a bad day.

We don’t have to allow our emotions to spill into the next day. Tomorrow hasn’t happened yet, it’s new, fresh, ready for the taking. Seize it, get as much as you can from it, because it’s time you can’t get back!

That being said, today I felt emotionally exhausted. My eyes hurt from crying and I was constantly in need of reassuring hugs from my mum, and that’s okay. So I haven’t forced myself to do too much, when I went to the gym I didn’t hate myself for not having the energy to do an intense ab workout because I didn’t feel in the right mindset. And that’s okay.

We all have bad days, but that’s all they are. Tomorrow I vow to do better, achieve more and begin my new adventure, open new doors and create more opportunities for myself because there is always a way.

I think I should create a new series don’t you think? About never giving up? Because you wait, you’ll be reading my blog a year from now and I’ll be in a completely different phase of my life, one that’s brighter and filled with more hope.

It’s time for me to fall in love with myself again, regain my focus and figure out a direction. Because we, ourselves, should always be our NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. Never forget that.

All my love,

HG