Good morning beautiful world, I’m currently at Centre Parcs enjoying a Starbucks whilst everyone else goes swimming. If you’re a girl who fake tans you’ll know that chlorine literally makes you look like a lizard so it’s truly not worth swimming especially since I’ve just re-done my whole body. Anyway…
We all know I went to South Africa recently, nothing new to say about that which I haven’t already said, except that it really did act as a second awakening for me. Sometimes we have to experience things in order to discover if it’s your cup of tea, but not everyone likes tea, some people like coffee. Although I adored South Africa and really appreciated the whole experience it made me realise that I wasn’t overly fussed about studying it in the long-term.
Arriving back home I had a bit of a breakdown because it felt like I had just taken another 10 steps backwards with how far I had come since February when I stopped my counselling as I felt I had a sense of direction again. Now I was back to square one, what do I want to do with myself?
And who do I confide in when my mind is troubled? My mum. So we had a long chat about how I felt, because in myself I knew I was unhappy and I had the urge, that gut feeling, that studying animal conservation wasn’t right for me at this moment in time.
My mum told me something I realised I needed to hear and that was that it’s okay to live with uncertainty and that not everything has to be planned and known for definite. I think because I’m such an organised person 90% of the time this has always been something I’ve struggled with, I’m a bit of a perfectionist I would say and this is because I like winning. I’m a very competitive person you see, which has its pro’s and cons of course.
Living with uncertainty is kind of a crazy concept for me, but it’s something I’m trying to get better at. I think having anxiety doesn’t help with this, but I don’t think that’s the only reason, as I said I think it’s just my personality to be organised and planned.
But we don’t always need a freaking plan! Now is the time to make mistakes, to change our minds over and over again until one day we know what we want to do when we’re asked! Who knows what I’m destined to do, I know I’ll be successful at whatever I do but I don’t know what it is yet and that’s okay! Too much pressure is put on the younger generation to know what we want so that we get forced into job roles that don’t suit us or we outgrow.
It’s never too late to change your mind or change career path. Always trust your gut, follow your soul and find your happiness. One day you’ll know what you want to do, because you’ve made all the mistakes you can, and that’s part of life.
All my love,
(The Broken Pearl)