Playing the victim

So, I’d just got in from a really hectic day at work, I was mentally drained, but physically I could run a marathon. So I did… (not quite), but I ran and ran and the rain was pouring, and energy was just pouring out of me.

I got in and didn’t really feel much of a sense of relief, so I decided to have a bath, because if really pushing myself wasn’t going to shake this maybe I should try the opposite right? A bath would calm me and centre me again, and what better thing to do for ultimate relaxation than listen to an inspiring podcast?

I’d put on an episode from Christen Brown on – and if you haven’t heard of this lady I would seriously recomend her, she specialises in relationships but that’s not really what I go to listen to her about. She’s a very centred woman, who has experienced and been through a lot, but she maintains faith with the Universe and she’s all about keeping an eye out for signs that will help guide us on our paths.

In this particular episode, she was explaining how God helps us in mysterious ways, and sometimes if we don’t question the things that happen around us and take them as signs to progress and move forward then we end up playing the victim, our Ego takes over inside and we get all defensive, the ‘I don’t deserve this’ comes forward.

That was it. And at the time in the bath I didn’t realise. But as soon as I went downstairs for dinner I realised there was this knot of tension inside me, I wasn’t myself and I was aware of that and then it clicked. I have been playing the victim this whole time.

I was making it out as though my life was so hard, everything was working against me and it wasn’t fair, I felt mentally and spiritually stuck, I’ve been uninspired to write my blog and I’ve been struggling in my job. I felt like the Universe was against me and in thinking this I was sinking deeper into the mud. I was getting myself even more sticky and stuck, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

If I really thought about it for a second I would realise that the Universe had actually been providing me with everything I had asked for. I had the job, my social life has got 10X better than it used to be. (I mean fuck, when I was in a bad place with anxiety even seeing those people I felt closest to was hard because I had become so insecure.) I have met someone who I’m pretty convinced is the male version of me we get along so well!

In all, I should be really happy. So why wasn’t I? Why wasn’t I progressing?

Because I was playing victim.

It’s time for me to man up, if something isn’t working I really need to put in the time and energy to make something else work that would fulfill me more.

This isn’t me admiting defeat in the respect that I’m going to force myself to pursue something I strongly dislike, this is me telling myself and you too, that there is another way. The Universe is on your side, but the Universe can only do so much.

It will provide you with the ingrediants, but you have to make the cake.

Have a beautiful evening my loves, I hope you enjoyed this post, it’s time to get our mogo on and start inspiring ourselves, bring those frequencies higher and start loving ourselves again. Because we are awesome.

All my love,

HG

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Resilience

This is a word that I had and still do struggle to come to terms with every now and then.

I’m the sort of girl that wants to be resilient through everything, push through the hard days, hold a straight face at rude clients and keep my head high when I do something wrong.

But, truth is I do struggle every now and then. But I’m human, we all do.

Today at work I witnessed someone have a bit of a breakdown, and I felt that. I haven’t had one (at least not publicly at work🥴) but I empathised with that on a level!

It made me realise how good it is sometimes to cry it out, to get rid of all that stress and built up emotion in one big wave… then it crashes down onto the shore and you feel a little more at peace again.

Sometimes it’s like that, we want to be strong and resilient through it all but we must remember that it’s okay to have a moment every now and then.

Today I was reading a really amazing blog about female entrepreneurs, and you know what I was super inspired by these women.

It made me realise that my resilience and faith in the not yet seen must be super strong in times like this.

Times of uncertainty and change are some of the greatest times in our lives, we’re bound to have wobbles. But it’s the faith, it’s the reliance that keeps us going and that’s what makes an entrepreneur and that’s everything I inspire to become!

On my morning walk today I listened to a new podcast, I can’t remember the dudes name but regardless of that he was speaking about the difference between FAITH and CONFIDENCE.

He was explaining how we may not always have the confidence to do things, we may never have the confidence to do something. But that doesn’t matter, because if you have faith that everything is going to work out you will be RESILIENT and you will make it work.

That’s something I will try to live by now, because if you’re constantly waiting for that confidence to do something, there’s a good chance it’ll never come. There’s too many ‘what ifs’.

If you have faith, anything is possible, and faith makes you resilient.

All my love,

HG

Keeping it real

Hello beautiful world. So it’s the evening here in England currently, but I wanted to write just because I know I love writing, is that okay with you guys? I hope so…

Today I had a bad day, for me a very bad day. I felt as bad as I did back at the beginning of this year, when my anxiety and low mood was at an all time high. I just wanted to write to prove to you guys that everyone has bad days, today was just one of those, a bad day.

We don’t have to allow our emotions to spill into the next day. Tomorrow hasn’t happened yet, it’s new, fresh, ready for the taking. Seize it, get as much as you can from it, because it’s time you can’t get back!

That being said, today I felt emotionally exhausted. My eyes hurt from crying and I was constantly in need of reassuring hugs from my mum, and that’s okay. So I haven’t forced myself to do too much, when I went to the gym I didn’t hate myself for not having the energy to do an intense ab workout because I didn’t feel in the right mindset. And that’s okay.

We all have bad days, but that’s all they are. Tomorrow I vow to do better, achieve more and begin my new adventure, open new doors and create more opportunities for myself because there is always a way.

I think I should create a new series don’t you think? About never giving up? Because you wait, you’ll be reading my blog a year from now and I’ll be in a completely different phase of my life, one that’s brighter and filled with more hope.

It’s time for me to fall in love with myself again, regain my focus and figure out a direction. Because we, ourselves, should always be our NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. Never forget that.

All my love,

HG

Pat yourself on the back

Hello beautiful readers, and a happy monday to you all! Who else remembers being told to do this at their primary school? After any little activity or small achievement we would be told to congratulate ourselves, appreciate that we had done well and then move forward.

Why am I talking about this? Because I feel like it’s become habit for so many of us to ignore the small achievements we’ve made, and only focus on the large and most ‘life-changing.’ The trouble is with this is that we’re left with a sense of never being satisfied, always wanting more, bigger, better.

Sometimes it can even stop us pursuing those things which we really want, our biggest dreams and goals because we believe they are so unattainable, out of reach. When really, if we’d payed attention and noted all the baby steps we were already making towards them then we would realise that we’re on our way there.

To be honest this is how I’ve been feeling recently, a little defeated you know. One of the ways I find helps me when I’m feeling a little lost, or feeling as though everything I desire is so far from my grasp is I remember all the little things I have achieved. Things such as starting this very blog! This was a major thing for me this year, yet I so often over-look it because it’s become part of routine now. I can tell you that setting up a website is not easy people, it was a mission and a half to do this, yet still I forget to pat myself on the back for it.

Another achievement is over-coming the worst of my anxiety. You know I’ve vowed to myself I will never allow myself to sink that low again, all the counselling, all the meditation, all the mind-training was worth it. Yet I still forget to pat myself on the back for it. If I could take myself back to how I was feeling in January of this year I know I was begging to feel this normal on a daily basis like I am now, rather than so up tight and miserable.

Whenever things are getting a little hard, whether you’re going through a break-up, mourning a loved one or are stressed for exams, remember to pat yourself on the back for the little things. If you’re struggling with a break-up, pat yourself on the back for the first day you’re strong enough not to cry. If you’re mourning someone you love, pat yourself on the back for the day you actually get out of bed. If you’re stressed for exams, pat yourself on the back for the that time you nailed that one practice paper.

Because the little things matter, heck, they matter the most, because if we didn’t appreciate them we wouldn’t be able to reach the bigger goals. Don’t overlook them or become blind to them, embrace them, and keep progressing.

All my love,

HG

Leap of faith

Hello beautiful readers, today I felt inspired to write since I’m making another big step in my life which is going to really shake things up for me for a while. I’ve got a full time job.

Now some of you may be confused, if you’ve read my stuff for a while now you would know I was all for going back to college, smashing out more education and pursuing something I love. The thing is, I wrote out a list of goals for the long and short-term months and months ago, probably at the start of this year. It dawned on me that in order to pursue these goals I needed to learn a lot of skills, which would only be defferred if I started studying again.

One of the biggest goals on this list is for me to create my own brand, the basic concept being to benefit the environment as much as possible. I love wildlife and the Earth itself, just because I’m no longer going to be studying it doesn’t change that! That is still the goal. I just have to keep my eyes on the prize.

Sometimes we have to work hard at something and learn as much as we can from that to benefit ourselves in the long-term. Life is all about learning new things, it’s how we progress as I said in my most recent post! I want to learn how to manage, learn as many skills as I can, until I’m confident enough to go out there and manage something that I’m really really passionate about.

I’m a 19 year old with some pretty big goals, not dreams, goals.

All it takes is being focused enough to achieve them. Never lose sight of what you desire, and never lose sight of what makes you authentic. It’s super important for me personally to hold onto that. In a high intensity job where I will be under pressure I need to keep my cool and hold onto my beliefs.

This opportunity excites me yet scares me simultaneously, and that’s how I know I should go for it. Because although my anxiety may be bad for a little while, I know it’s only because I’m out of my comfort zone, I’ve become accustomed to a very flexible way of living and that’s about to change. But it doesn’t mean it’ll be that way forever, I mean when I’m running my own business and I’m the highest you can get on that ladder I can have my flexiblity back.

Nothing is set in stone, everything is temporary. Embrace the moment and make every second count, work towards your goals and keep smiling.

All my love,

HG

Lets get uncomfortable

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog @hannahzgrace I hope you have all had a beautiful day so far. Here in the UK today it is 38 degrees celcius (turning into a weather woman now), and for us British citizens we are not accustomed to this kind of weather. It’s unbearable. We’re used to the rain and grey skies, so this kind of heat killssss us. So here I am in my back garden sipping on some iced water in the shade and still sweating one out. Super British.

The discomfort from this heat today reminded me of a topic I’ve wanting to talk about for a while on my blog, and that is that in order to grow and progress we all need to face a level of discomfort.

This is something I have lived by since reading Jen Sincero’s book How to Be a Badass back in March of this year, and every time I feel myself getting a little too comfortable with something I remind myself that discomfort often leads to progression.

I know that may sound a little harsh and even writing it feels wrong in a sense, because why would we want to make ourselves uncomfortable right? Especially if we’re happy? But just hear me out okay…

So picture your idol in your head, someone really successful who inspires and motivates you to want to pursue your dreams. Whether that’s wanting a killer body like Kendall Jenner or wanting to have the authority and mind of Alan Sugar, it’s all the same.

In order for these people to be as successful as they are do you think the road was easy? For any Kardashian haters out there I’m sure you’re all silently thinking that Kendall Jenner didn’t have to try to become a super-model since her name essentially brought her fame, but I completely disagree with you.

If Kendall Jenner didn’t have the drive and mindset to succeed she wouldn’t have made it, and that’s facts. She had to get out of her comfort zone and face challenges just like the rest of us will in order to reach our long-term goals and achieve our greatest desires.

What I’m trying to say is, in order to progress and better yourself you need to make a habit of/ get used to the feeling of discomfort. Constantly push yourself, and eventually you’ll get to where you want to be.

Often I know if I’m making the right decision based on my gut feeling. Something that excites me, yet scares me and makes me feel uncomfortable is most likely what I’ll go after. Life’s all about learning and bettering yourself, it’s a journey that you make for you and only you. Make it as fulfilling as you can.

Because being uncomfortable is great… just not 38 degree weather.

All my love,

HG

Believing before seeing

So this week I really didn’t know what to write. Shocking. I have been staring at a blank screen for the past 4 days knowing that I should have already posted one blog post and a second one should be underway. But, I have cut myself a little slack and decided not to be too hard on myself.

Truth be told I just have not been feeling motivational enough to write on here, and considering my blog is all about self-help and positivity it didn’t seem fitting that I came on here with shit that wasn’t true from the heart and could actually benefit you guys. That’s when I remembered that by writing I actually become more motivated.

I mean duh, I used to write in my journal every morning in order to phyche myself up for the day ahead to get my mindset focused and the positivity goggles on. But recently I’d stopped doing that, I’ve broken my routine which I had followed religeously for months and it shows on the inside.

On the outside I look just the same, fit, healthy, pretty, whatever. But on the inside, I’ve been on a little roller-coaster of emotions, and this is when I know that I’m losing track a little bit, and fuck falling back into the black hole of misery again, I am never going back there.

So I’ve just picked up one of my favourite books- You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero and have decided to go through it and pick out some of my favourite parts to not only inspire you guys but inspire myself because I freaking need that too.

I’ve gone straight to a page which has been folded, a reminder to myself to come back to this as it’s a juicy part. Sincero’s words of wisdom are…

“The moment you have the audacity to start believing in the not-yet seen, your reality will begin to shift.”

Jen Sincero (The oracle)

I loveeeeee this, the whole concept being that as a society we have everything the wrong way round. We expect to see things before we believe them. But by believing before seeing you are essentially making those things a reality.

This is for the good and bad beliefs, and it’s why whenever my friends are talking negatively about something or creating bad thoughts about something that hasn’t happened I tell them to stop. Because in belieiving something you look for it and it becomes a reality.

You need to have faith in the not-yet seen, and good things will follow. This is essentially the Law of Attraction, and if you don’t know what that is you need to do your research because it’s life-changing.

The energy you put out into the world, you get back. Do yourself a favour and start believing in things that haven’t happened and do everything you can to work towards those things, and the Universe will gift you in time.

Bit of a random one, but I’m just keeping it real with you all, have a beautiful morning, afternoon, evening or night and rememeber to love yourself, because someone needed to hear that today.

All my love,

HG