Pat yourself on the back

Hello beautiful readers, and a happy monday to you all! Who else remembers being told to do this at their primary school? After any little activity or small achievement we would be told to congratulate ourselves, appreciate that we had done well and then move forward.

Why am I talking about this? Because I feel like it’s become habit for so many of us to ignore the small achievements we’ve made, and only focus on the large and most ‘life-changing.’ The trouble is with this is that we’re left with a sense of never being satisfied, always wanting more, bigger, better.

Sometimes it can even stop us pursuing those things which we really want, our biggest dreams and goals because we believe they are so unattainable, out of reach. When really, if we’d payed attention and noted all the baby steps we were already making towards them then we would realise that we’re on our way there.

To be honest this is how I’ve been feeling recently, a little defeated you know. One of the ways I find helps me when I’m feeling a little lost, or feeling as though everything I desire is so far from my grasp is I remember all the little things I have achieved. Things such as starting this very blog! This was a major thing for me this year, yet I so often over-look it because it’s become part of routine now. I can tell you that setting up a website is not easy people, it was a mission and a half to do this, yet still I forget to pat myself on the back for it.

Another achievement is over-coming the worst of my anxiety. You know I’ve vowed to myself I will never allow myself to sink that low again, all the counselling, all the meditation, all the mind-training was worth it. Yet I still forget to pat myself on the back for it. If I could take myself back to how I was feeling in January of this year I know I was begging to feel this normal on a daily basis like I am now, rather than so up tight and miserable.

Whenever things are getting a little hard, whether you’re going through a break-up, mourning a loved one or are stressed for exams, remember to pat yourself on the back for the little things. If you’re struggling with a break-up, pat yourself on the back for the first day you’re strong enough not to cry. If you’re mourning someone you love, pat yourself on the back for the day you actually get out of bed. If you’re stressed for exams, pat yourself on the back for the that time you nailed that one practice paper.

Because the little things matter, heck, they matter the most, because if we didn’t appreciate them we wouldn’t be able to reach the bigger goals. Don’t overlook them or become blind to them, embrace them, and keep progressing.

All my love,

HG

Believing before seeing

So this week I really didn’t know what to write. Shocking. I have been staring at a blank screen for the past 4 days knowing that I should have already posted one blog post and a second one should be underway. But, I have cut myself a little slack and decided not to be too hard on myself.

Truth be told I just have not been feeling motivational enough to write on here, and considering my blog is all about self-help and positivity it didn’t seem fitting that I came on here with shit that wasn’t true from the heart and could actually benefit you guys. That’s when I remembered that by writing I actually become more motivated.

I mean duh, I used to write in my journal every morning in order to phyche myself up for the day ahead to get my mindset focused and the positivity goggles on. But recently I’d stopped doing that, I’ve broken my routine which I had followed religeously for months and it shows on the inside.

On the outside I look just the same, fit, healthy, pretty, whatever. But on the inside, I’ve been on a little roller-coaster of emotions, and this is when I know that I’m losing track a little bit, and fuck falling back into the black hole of misery again, I am never going back there.

So I’ve just picked up one of my favourite books- You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero and have decided to go through it and pick out some of my favourite parts to not only inspire you guys but inspire myself because I freaking need that too.

I’ve gone straight to a page which has been folded, a reminder to myself to come back to this as it’s a juicy part. Sincero’s words of wisdom are…

“The moment you have the audacity to start believing in the not-yet seen, your reality will begin to shift.”

Jen Sincero (The oracle)

I loveeeeee this, the whole concept being that as a society we have everything the wrong way round. We expect to see things before we believe them. But by believing before seeing you are essentially making those things a reality.

This is for the good and bad beliefs, and it’s why whenever my friends are talking negatively about something or creating bad thoughts about something that hasn’t happened I tell them to stop. Because in belieiving something you look for it and it becomes a reality.

You need to have faith in the not-yet seen, and good things will follow. This is essentially the Law of Attraction, and if you don’t know what that is you need to do your research because it’s life-changing.

The energy you put out into the world, you get back. Do yourself a favour and start believing in things that haven’t happened and do everything you can to work towards those things, and the Universe will gift you in time.

Bit of a random one, but I’m just keeping it real with you all, have a beautiful morning, afternoon, evening or night and rememeber to love yourself, because someone needed to hear that today.

All my love,

HG

Fear of the unsuccessful

You know I was asked recently what I was most scared of. Initially I couldn’t think of anything since I’m not the kind of girl who winces at spiders or faints at the sight of blood. For me I’ve always been fearful of being unsuccessful, and I think this is where the whole concept of pressuring myself comes into action.

You see, I take things too seriously sometimes because I’m always striving for more. I’m rarely satisfied because I love to push myself to the maximum, and if I’m working/studying something unfulfilling it really affects me, and I find myself getting frustrated because I’m not at my full potential.

Along with working on living with uncertainty I’m working on living in the present. It’s super important for me and my mental well-being to appreciate the journey, because success doesn’t often happen over-night. I suppose it depends what you determine as ‘success’ too. If success was waking up in the morning with a positive outlook every day I would be successful a lot of the time.

I think part of the problem with my generation is that there’s always a want/need for more. This is due to constant comparison. What we forget is that we should be working towards bettering our lives for ourselves! Not for anyone else, not to be able to compare further and judge each other’s achievements. We are all running our own race in our own time. Love the journey and embrace it, believe that you will make it and you will.

All my love,

HG

Over-coming anxiety- part 5

Hello beautiful world, this is the final post I will be making on over-coming anxiety but if you want more posts like this just let me know in the comment section down below! I’ve been feeling very motivated recently, if you’ve read my last post you’d understand that I’m slowly coming to terms with living with uncertainty and not always having a plan. I just think that by putting all our hopes and dreams into one plan, one direction, if we come across bumps in the road or things don’t go as they ‘should have’ we get dissapointed and more sad than we should do. Personally I think that this was always part of the problem with my own anxiety, my awareness that this may be something I should work on has helped considerably in a recovery from something that got me down more than I realised at first.

So this final post is all about ensuring you’re loving yourself, and that you allow yourself the time you need to heal yourself. The process isn’t going to be over-night, and you will have your wobbles every now and then, but overall you’ll be a better person mentally and physically. Healing anxiety isn’t just about improving mental health, it’s about following your soul and changing your lifestyle for the better. It’s the reason I’m partly against taking medication for it, because in my opinion that’s more of a quick fix, instant help, that won’t heal you internally but give the false impression that you’re doing good. Of course if you’re really struggling and medication is what you need I encourage that! But in order to help yourself in the long-term you need to start getting honest with yourself, dig deep to discover where all this is stemming from, what is laying in your subconscious that is making you anxious?

Over-coming anxiety will be a steady process, and you’ll find a few hurdles along the way that may distract you from your end goal. The most important thing is not to fall and stay down. You pick yourself up every single freaking time and dust yourself off, keep moving, keep progressing, because that’s life! Life will throw hurdles at you, whether it’s in work or personal stuff, it’s going to happen, but you can’t use that as an exuse to stop the process of bettering yourself.

It’s like my breakup—- in case you didn’t realise this is what my The Broken Pearl blog post is about. That was a major hurdle for me, I was the one who did the breaking up but that didn’t make it much easier for me. I know I did the right thing, and I’m still glad I did it, I have no regrets. I gave myself 3 days to mourn and not do much at all, after that I had to start being productive again, and I stuck to it. Don’t wallow in pity and negativity, pick yourself up from that shit because you’re so much better than that. Allow yourself time, set a date when you need to get back on track and stick with it.

Have faith in yourself, if you’re not all for it it’s only going to make it harder for you. Believe you’ll overcome it and you will. I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, the energy you put out to the world you receive. The way I envision it is, when you’re in a good mood and radiating good energy you have on a pair of glasses with lenses which only allow you to see love, colour and positivity. If you’re in a bad mood the negative spectacles come on and that’s all you’ll see… The thing we all forget is that we can change those glasses whenever we like you just have to change your perspective, change your mood, the world is only what you make it. Life is the dancer and you are the dance. Never forget that.

This is the post for you to come back to when you need to become motivated again, because you may need it. If I can do it you sure can, I beleive in youuuuuuuu. Let the journey commense.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Over-coming anxiety- part 4

Hello beautiful people, how have you all been? Being out of my routines for so long has left me feeling rather de-motivated and lazy to be honest, and that resulted in me not feeling so good in myself. Today I’ve started a project come back for myself, I went over all the goals I have made for this year and revised how I was going to make them happen, the short-term and the long-term. Since we’re over halfway through the year I would highly encourage this of everyone, go over your resolutions or goals for this year and go over how you’re going to make that happen. It’s super important to stay focused, never lose sight of what you desire.

This all ties into the topic for my fourth post on over-coming anxiety which is staying commited to the routines and little things which help motivate and inspire you, the things that help create a positive mindset for yourself and create a forcefield for negative thoughts and emotions.

We all break routines from time to time and this is normal, it’s also important to remember not to be too hard on yourself if you’re not up for meditating or couldn’t find the time to exercise on one of the 7 days in the week. Being too strict with yourself will only result in these things becoming a chore for you, not things that actually help and relieve you from a troubled mind.

For me my routine includes waking up and not allowing myself to go on my phone for at least an hour. By waking up and immediatly looking at what other people are doing instead of prioritising what you could be doing with yourself, will only distract you from any goals or things you want to get done in the day. Writing a list of things to get done in the day and then writing down how I’m feeling and resolving any problems in my journal is what keeps me focused and positive throughout the day. In immediatly dealing with or emptying you mind of worry in the morning, you are more likely to have a more fulfilled and positive day, as you’re essentially losing the burden of carrying around stress with you.

I can’t emphasise enough in how having a positive mental attitude can change and releive you of anxiety and low mood. Lifestyle change is just as beneficial, becoming more active and eating for wellness and health will naturally help too. But in building a routine of little things such as meditating or going on a daily morning walk which helps calm your mind and ground you will gradually cause improvements with your self-esteem and a decrease in an anxious mind.

Try it out, find out what works for you, write down the routine so that it’s set in stone, try it for 2 weeks, write daily and notice the change and improvements by reflecting back in your journal.

Something I should do more of is reading jounral entries from months ago, sometimes I forget how far I have come with my anxiety. It’s humbling to have been somewhere so dark and low, it makes everything else, any improvement, a day of positivity and love 100X more exciting and I have so much more gratitude for the smaller things. Although we all think our anxiety is a burden from time to time, it makes us ensightful to the smaller things, opening our eyes and finding enjoyment and gratitude in things that would be overlooked by most.

Remember this is a jounrey, don’t expect immediate results, be kind to yourself and be patient. You’ve got this.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Over-coming anxiety- part 2

Welcome back to my over-coming anxiety help guide! If you haven’t already read the part one of this series go ahead and do that first before jumping ahead to stage 2.

So, we’ve established that the first step to over-coming anxiety is being aware that you have it, and accepting that rather than fearing it. (I would highly suggest documenting this jounrey you’re on by the way, just so you can refer back to, and motivate yourself when you’re having troubled times). In acceptance we can find an inner peace, and once you are more peaceful on the inside, you are more capable of controlling your exterior life better and more positively.

For me, part of the reason my anxiety spiralled into depression is because I found that I was no longer myself, and that I was essentially an empty body, with no burning passions and desires. The social anxieties I had lead me to believe I was no longer capable of making friends because I wasn’t interesting or cool enough for people, and that really ground me down till I convinced myself I had a personality that no one liked. Which is of course a recipe for disaster when you’re all alone at University, coming with 0 friends from your local town, can’t drive to get home, and hate the course you’re studying.

So yeah, for me at least I found that my anxiety worsened because I subconsciously was rejecting the things I really enjoyed doing, I lost myself because I didn’t accept myself for who I was. I know now that I’m a freaking amazing person, and I do the things I love daily! But at this difficult time in my life with my ever growing anxiety and low mood, I was spiralling hard.

This is where the whole concept of mirroring other people came about (check out my blog post for more- You are not a mirror), I essentially tried to reflect the other people around me at university in order to ‘fit in’ and tried so hard doing this I burnt out… and CRASH—– breakdown.

Therefore the next stage to over-coming your anxiety is emersing yourself in hobbies that you had forgotten about, or if you’re feeling confident enough try something new. Write a list of all these things, physically not mentally, get some paper and write that shit down, you could even write them in order of what sparks the most joy in you. Having this physically there will help, because whenever you’re feeling low or need to reassure yourself that you’re good, this list will give you a greater sense of purpose. If possible you can go and immediatly do one of the things on your list to break yourself free from a panic attack, you can climb out of the black hole of low mood and replinish yourself mentally by doing something you enjoy!

I know this second step may seem a little much, and perhaps you may be in a position right now where you’re thinking- I don’t love anything enough, I don’t have any hobbies, or- my life isn’t interesting I don’t do anything fun. Take your time. You don’t need to write this list in a day, be aware of when you feel most at peace, when you feel connected to your true self, when you get that tingly sensation of doing something and being proud of it or that exhilaration of wanting to run 100 miles after doing something you’re super passionate about! You’ll get there.

Even the little things such as taking a walk with the dog, or reading a good book. Re-emerse youself in things you forgot you loved, or feel that you lost apprecation for, and in time… you’ll re-ignite. The second joy is sparked within you things will really begin to shift, the days will become more bearable and you’ll find ways to fill the time you used to dread of doing nothing. Keep yourself busy, but busy in a good way, busy doing things you adore, not things to keep those negative thoughts at bay!

You’re doing amazing, I know you are, because you’re making the effort to read this, and that shows strength and courage.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Healthy, Motivational Morning Routine 2019

Hello beautiful people, today although the weather is poor in Kent I still made myself go on a morning run since I knew it would make me feel more refreshed and alive… and then it started to rain as soon as I left and I got a little wet.. BUT it was still exhilarating and got me fired up for the day ahead!

Today I wanted to enlighten you all on my morning routine, which I tend to religiously stick to because I know I always feel 100 times better for doing so. So if you want to feel like a badass every day continue reading!

So what’s my secret to feeling motivated 90% of the time? (And I say 90% because I’msuccess not going to be dishonest with you all and say that I’m always happy because I’m not a good liar) I wake up and I don’t allow myself to go on my phone, comparison can quite often be the thief of joy, if you immediately wake up and focus on yourself you are going to feel more inspired and motivated to get shit done and that’s the truth. Always spend time on yourself rather than looking at what other people are doing.

Setting small goals! Next up I open up my little #success planner (because I’m that cool😎) and begin setting myself tasks to do for the day. These things can start off as small as reading your book for 15 minutes before bed, they don’t have to be huge achievements, make the goals realistic otherwise you’ll set yourself up for failure and no one wants that! For me for instance- today one of my goals was to write a new blog post which is exactly what I’m doing now, another was to hit the gym this afternoon. Even setting the goal of maintaining a positive attitude at work is an achievement, practicing mindfulness. These are all easy-going achievements that will help keep you focused and motivated throughout the day.

Get yourself hyped!✨ Next up read something motivational, on days where I’m not feeling up to reading a chapter of a book I read a quote and get inspiration from that. The importance of this is to get someone else’s perspective and guidance, use what they say or the quote that you’ve read as a mantra throughout the day, remember it carry it with you let it inspire you. For me for example, today after reading some of Oprah Winfrey’s book called What I know for Sure I felt inspired to be strong and independent, to step out of my comfort zone in order to keep improving myself!

Let the creative juices flow onto paper!⭐️ I find writing in a journal such a release for any emotional tension I may be holding onto, but also as a little motivational book that I can go back to when I’m not feeling too great in myself. After reading a chapter from my book there’s always something for me to write about, today I wrote about how recently I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone massively by deciding it’s best that I become a single lady! That was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make but I know I’m better for it, I know in losing my safety net I can grow into a better person and become stronger, more sure of myself. More free.

Get going!💫 Sometimes I may meditate as well in the mornings however I often find that mediating in the evening helps more, since it allows me to alleviate myself of any stress or tension that has built up throughout the day. After journalling you can get on with your list, start going after what you love, do things that get you excited and give you energy. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself, and know in your heart you’re doing amazing.

All my love,

HG

(The Broken Pearl)

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