Making Judgements

So after a bit of a tiring week (since I started a new job), which I am super proud of myself for getting… I didn’t really know what to write about. I’ve been absorbing so much new information that my brain has just been overloaded, but in a good way, I love learning new things and being challenged so for me this is really cool. After going on a run this evening something suddenly clicked for me, I wasn’t even particularly thinking about it but it makes sense to write about.

See when I was job searching I struggled because I know I’m an intelligent individual with tons of potential, yet a lack of degree and experience in the necessary fields… Therefore I struggled to accept that I might have to start from the bottom and work my way up career wise. Butttttttttt, there’s nothing at all wrong with that.

My point is, is that I was judging myself for not starting my dream job immediately. So that’s what this post is about, I think the trouble is, some of us (and I know it can’t just be me) are so hard on ourselves and hard on other people because we are too judgmental about a situation that we are currently in that we end up producing this negative energy (which by the way doesn’t look good on anyone who wears it).

By observing everything with optimism, and positivity we automatically start being easier on ourselves too. What I’m trying to say is to stop judging other people and you will in turn stop judging yourself. If you laugh at an overweight person with your friends as you walk past them in the street chances are you look at yourself in the mirror and claim how ‘fat’ you are. Your insecurities reflect in how you perceive other people, and it just creates such negativity.

The moment I stopped judging myself for starting up in a career that I knew I didn’t want to do for life, just; something to get me going, a foot in the door of an amazing company with endless opportunities the Universe granted me with that something.

Am I making any sense? I hope so, I tend to type at the speed of my mind, and that runs pretty fast sometimes!

“Stop judging other people and you will stop judging yourself.”

Making your mentality so much more healthy, and making you more of an attractive person to other people! Try it for a day, challenge yourself to be more open minded, not closed off with judgements on why people are the way they are or look the way the look. That’s not for you to judge. Be positive and sympathetic, and great things will follow.

All my love,

HG

A lesson

Good morning beautiful world, how is everyone? I have to say I’m in higher spirits than I have been this week, and that’s something. Recently I’ve had the time to think a lot about everything, and I remembered something Oprah Winfrey had said in her book- What I know for sure.

… and that is that in everything there is a lesson. Whether something good or bad is currently happening in your life there is always something positive to learn from it. It’s easy for me to say- “I wish I hadn’t taken that job a month ago (which I worked in for only 2 days due to its toxic nature)”, and although I have a right to feel that way I’m looking at it with my negative spectacles on… and we all know that’s not good.

If we switch to the positive spectacles, we can say- “this is good because…” and it changes everything. Within everything in life there is a positive, whether your cats just died or you got fired from your job there is always something to take from that which is a lesson, and with that you can work from it and make something amazing happen.

“Everything- and I really mean EVERYTHING in life happens for a reason.”

You can make that reason whatever you want, because you have the power to change your life for the better, every day when you wake up you choose how you’re going to live your day. Choose love and happiness over negativity. Choose joy over frustration and anger.

It’s not always easy to remember, and trust me I forget too! I forget on some days, and it’s easy to when things get hard. Unemployment is literally my worst fear and I’m living in it currently! But you have to see things with the positive glasses on. We can all do this no matter what you’re living with. And the biggest lesson of all to learn?

Patience.

Patience is a virtue, it’s not easy especially when you’re living in a world which is running at 100000 miles per hour all the time. But good things come to those who wait, and you can’t rush a master piece. Maintain that faith that better things are coming, live each day with positivity, radiate love and joy and you’ll see.

When it happens it happens, but you’ll look back and realise that your patience paid off.

All my love,

HG

Pat yourself on the back

Hello beautiful readers, and a happy monday to you all! Who else remembers being told to do this at their primary school? After any little activity or small achievement we would be told to congratulate ourselves, appreciate that we had done well and then move forward.

Why am I talking about this? Because I feel like it’s become habit for so many of us to ignore the small achievements we’ve made, and only focus on the large and most ‘life-changing.’ The trouble is with this is that we’re left with a sense of never being satisfied, always wanting more, bigger, better.

Sometimes it can even stop us pursuing those things which we really want, our biggest dreams and goals because we believe they are so unattainable, out of reach. When really, if we’d payed attention and noted all the baby steps we were already making towards them then we would realise that we’re on our way there.

To be honest this is how I’ve been feeling recently, a little defeated you know. One of the ways I find helps me when I’m feeling a little lost, or feeling as though everything I desire is so far from my grasp is I remember all the little things I have achieved. Things such as starting this very blog! This was a major thing for me this year, yet I so often over-look it because it’s become part of routine now. I can tell you that setting up a website is not easy people, it was a mission and a half to do this, yet still I forget to pat myself on the back for it.

Another achievement is over-coming the worst of my anxiety. You know I’ve vowed to myself I will never allow myself to sink that low again, all the counselling, all the meditation, all the mind-training was worth it. Yet I still forget to pat myself on the back for it. If I could take myself back to how I was feeling in January of this year I know I was begging to feel this normal on a daily basis like I am now, rather than so up tight and miserable.

Whenever things are getting a little hard, whether you’re going through a break-up, mourning a loved one or are stressed for exams, remember to pat yourself on the back for the little things. If you’re struggling with a break-up, pat yourself on the back for the first day you’re strong enough not to cry. If you’re mourning someone you love, pat yourself on the back for the day you actually get out of bed. If you’re stressed for exams, pat yourself on the back for the that time you nailed that one practice paper.

Because the little things matter, heck, they matter the most, because if we didn’t appreciate them we wouldn’t be able to reach the bigger goals. Don’t overlook them or become blind to them, embrace them, and keep progressing.

All my love,

HG

Believing before seeing

So this week I really didn’t know what to write. Shocking. I have been staring at a blank screen for the past 4 days knowing that I should have already posted one blog post and a second one should be underway. But, I have cut myself a little slack and decided not to be too hard on myself.

Truth be told I just have not been feeling motivational enough to write on here, and considering my blog is all about self-help and positivity it didn’t seem fitting that I came on here with shit that wasn’t true from the heart and could actually benefit you guys. That’s when I remembered that by writing I actually become more motivated.

I mean duh, I used to write in my journal every morning in order to phyche myself up for the day ahead to get my mindset focused and the positivity goggles on. But recently I’d stopped doing that, I’ve broken my routine which I had followed religeously for months and it shows on the inside.

On the outside I look just the same, fit, healthy, pretty, whatever. But on the inside, I’ve been on a little roller-coaster of emotions, and this is when I know that I’m losing track a little bit, and fuck falling back into the black hole of misery again, I am never going back there.

So I’ve just picked up one of my favourite books- You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero and have decided to go through it and pick out some of my favourite parts to not only inspire you guys but inspire myself because I freaking need that too.

I’ve gone straight to a page which has been folded, a reminder to myself to come back to this as it’s a juicy part. Sincero’s words of wisdom are…

“The moment you have the audacity to start believing in the not-yet seen, your reality will begin to shift.”

Jen Sincero (The oracle)

I loveeeeee this, the whole concept being that as a society we have everything the wrong way round. We expect to see things before we believe them. But by believing before seeing you are essentially making those things a reality.

This is for the good and bad beliefs, and it’s why whenever my friends are talking negatively about something or creating bad thoughts about something that hasn’t happened I tell them to stop. Because in belieiving something you look for it and it becomes a reality.

You need to have faith in the not-yet seen, and good things will follow. This is essentially the Law of Attraction, and if you don’t know what that is you need to do your research because it’s life-changing.

The energy you put out into the world, you get back. Do yourself a favour and start believing in things that haven’t happened and do everything you can to work towards those things, and the Universe will gift you in time.

Bit of a random one, but I’m just keeping it real with you all, have a beautiful morning, afternoon, evening or night and rememeber to love yourself, because someone needed to hear that today.

All my love,

HG

Fear of the unsuccessful

You know I was asked recently what I was most scared of. Initially I couldn’t think of anything since I’m not the kind of girl who winces at spiders or faints at the sight of blood. For me I’ve always been fearful of being unsuccessful, and I think this is where the whole concept of pressuring myself comes into action.

You see, I take things too seriously sometimes because I’m always striving for more. I’m rarely satisfied because I love to push myself to the maximum, and if I’m working/studying something unfulfilling it really affects me, and I find myself getting frustrated because I’m not at my full potential.

Along with working on living with uncertainty I’m working on living in the present. It’s super important for me and my mental well-being to appreciate the journey, because success doesn’t often happen over-night. I suppose it depends what you determine as ‘success’ too. If success was waking up in the morning with a positive outlook every day I would be successful a lot of the time.

I think part of the problem with my generation is that there’s always a want/need for more. This is due to constant comparison. What we forget is that we should be working towards bettering our lives for ourselves! Not for anyone else, not to be able to compare further and judge each other’s achievements. We are all running our own race in our own time. Love the journey and embrace it, believe that you will make it and you will.

All my love,

HG

Over-coming anxiety- part 5

Hello beautiful world, this is the final post I will be making on over-coming anxiety but if you want more posts like this just let me know in the comment section down below! I’ve been feeling very motivated recently, if you’ve read my last post you’d understand that I’m slowly coming to terms with living with uncertainty and not always having a plan. I just think that by putting all our hopes and dreams into one plan, one direction, if we come across bumps in the road or things don’t go as they ‘should have’ we get dissapointed and more sad than we should do. Personally I think that this was always part of the problem with my own anxiety, my awareness that this may be something I should work on has helped considerably in a recovery from something that got me down more than I realised at first.

So this final post is all about ensuring you’re loving yourself, and that you allow yourself the time you need to heal yourself. The process isn’t going to be over-night, and you will have your wobbles every now and then, but overall you’ll be a better person mentally and physically. Healing anxiety isn’t just about improving mental health, it’s about following your soul and changing your lifestyle for the better. It’s the reason I’m partly against taking medication for it, because in my opinion that’s more of a quick fix, instant help, that won’t heal you internally but give the false impression that you’re doing good. Of course if you’re really struggling and medication is what you need I encourage that! But in order to help yourself in the long-term you need to start getting honest with yourself, dig deep to discover where all this is stemming from, what is laying in your subconscious that is making you anxious?

Over-coming anxiety will be a steady process, and you’ll find a few hurdles along the way that may distract you from your end goal. The most important thing is not to fall and stay down. You pick yourself up every single freaking time and dust yourself off, keep moving, keep progressing, because that’s life! Life will throw hurdles at you, whether it’s in work or personal stuff, it’s going to happen, but you can’t use that as an exuse to stop the process of bettering yourself.

It’s like my breakup—- in case you didn’t realise this is what my The Broken Pearl blog post is about. That was a major hurdle for me, I was the one who did the breaking up but that didn’t make it much easier for me. I know I did the right thing, and I’m still glad I did it, I have no regrets. I gave myself 3 days to mourn and not do much at all, after that I had to start being productive again, and I stuck to it. Don’t wallow in pity and negativity, pick yourself up from that shit because you’re so much better than that. Allow yourself time, set a date when you need to get back on track and stick with it.

Have faith in yourself, if you’re not all for it it’s only going to make it harder for you. Believe you’ll overcome it and you will. I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, the energy you put out to the world you receive. The way I envision it is, when you’re in a good mood and radiating good energy you have on a pair of glasses with lenses which only allow you to see love, colour and positivity. If you’re in a bad mood the negative spectacles come on and that’s all you’ll see… The thing we all forget is that we can change those glasses whenever we like you just have to change your perspective, change your mood, the world is only what you make it. Life is the dancer and you are the dance. Never forget that.

This is the post for you to come back to when you need to become motivated again, because you may need it. If I can do it you sure can, I beleive in youuuuuuuu. Let the journey commense.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Over-coming anxiety- part 4

Hello beautiful people, how have you all been? Being out of my routines for so long has left me feeling rather de-motivated and lazy to be honest, and that resulted in me not feeling so good in myself. Today I’ve started a project come back for myself, I went over all the goals I have made for this year and revised how I was going to make them happen, the short-term and the long-term. Since we’re over halfway through the year I would highly encourage this of everyone, go over your resolutions or goals for this year and go over how you’re going to make that happen. It’s super important to stay focused, never lose sight of what you desire.

This all ties into the topic for my fourth post on over-coming anxiety which is staying commited to the routines and little things which help motivate and inspire you, the things that help create a positive mindset for yourself and create a forcefield for negative thoughts and emotions.

We all break routines from time to time and this is normal, it’s also important to remember not to be too hard on yourself if you’re not up for meditating or couldn’t find the time to exercise on one of the 7 days in the week. Being too strict with yourself will only result in these things becoming a chore for you, not things that actually help and relieve you from a troubled mind.

For me my routine includes waking up and not allowing myself to go on my phone for at least an hour. By waking up and immediatly looking at what other people are doing instead of prioritising what you could be doing with yourself, will only distract you from any goals or things you want to get done in the day. Writing a list of things to get done in the day and then writing down how I’m feeling and resolving any problems in my journal is what keeps me focused and positive throughout the day. In immediatly dealing with or emptying you mind of worry in the morning, you are more likely to have a more fulfilled and positive day, as you’re essentially losing the burden of carrying around stress with you.

I can’t emphasise enough in how having a positive mental attitude can change and releive you of anxiety and low mood. Lifestyle change is just as beneficial, becoming more active and eating for wellness and health will naturally help too. But in building a routine of little things such as meditating or going on a daily morning walk which helps calm your mind and ground you will gradually cause improvements with your self-esteem and a decrease in an anxious mind.

Try it out, find out what works for you, write down the routine so that it’s set in stone, try it for 2 weeks, write daily and notice the change and improvements by reflecting back in your journal.

Something I should do more of is reading jounral entries from months ago, sometimes I forget how far I have come with my anxiety. It’s humbling to have been somewhere so dark and low, it makes everything else, any improvement, a day of positivity and love 100X more exciting and I have so much more gratitude for the smaller things. Although we all think our anxiety is a burden from time to time, it makes us ensightful to the smaller things, opening our eyes and finding enjoyment and gratitude in things that would be overlooked by most.

Remember this is a jounrey, don’t expect immediate results, be kind to yourself and be patient. You’ve got this.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl