Pat yourself on the back

Hello beautiful readers, and a happy monday to you all! Who else remembers being told to do this at their primary school? After any little activity or small achievement we would be told to congratulate ourselves, appreciate that we had done well and then move forward.

Why am I talking about this? Because I feel like it’s become habit for so many of us to ignore the small achievements we’ve made, and only focus on the large and most ‘life-changing.’ The trouble is with this is that we’re left with a sense of never being satisfied, always wanting more, bigger, better.

Sometimes it can even stop us pursuing those things which we really want, our biggest dreams and goals because we believe they are so unattainable, out of reach. When really, if we’d payed attention and noted all the baby steps we were already making towards them then we would realise that we’re on our way there.

To be honest this is how I’ve been feeling recently, a little defeated you know. One of the ways I find helps me when I’m feeling a little lost, or feeling as though everything I desire is so far from my grasp is I remember all the little things I have achieved. Things such as starting this very blog! This was a major thing for me this year, yet I so often over-look it because it’s become part of routine now. I can tell you that setting up a website is not easy people, it was a mission and a half to do this, yet still I forget to pat myself on the back for it.

Another achievement is over-coming the worst of my anxiety. You know I’ve vowed to myself I will never allow myself to sink that low again, all the counselling, all the meditation, all the mind-training was worth it. Yet I still forget to pat myself on the back for it. If I could take myself back to how I was feeling in January of this year I know I was begging to feel this normal on a daily basis like I am now, rather than so up tight and miserable.

Whenever things are getting a little hard, whether you’re going through a break-up, mourning a loved one or are stressed for exams, remember to pat yourself on the back for the little things. If you’re struggling with a break-up, pat yourself on the back for the first day you’re strong enough not to cry. If you’re mourning someone you love, pat yourself on the back for the day you actually get out of bed. If you’re stressed for exams, pat yourself on the back for the that time you nailed that one practice paper.

Because the little things matter, heck, they matter the most, because if we didn’t appreciate them we wouldn’t be able to reach the bigger goals. Don’t overlook them or become blind to them, embrace them, and keep progressing.

All my love,

HG

Lets get uncomfortable

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog @hannahzgrace I hope you have all had a beautiful day so far. Here in the UK today it is 38 degrees celcius (turning into a weather woman now), and for us British citizens we are not accustomed to this kind of weather. It’s unbearable. We’re used to the rain and grey skies, so this kind of heat killssss us. So here I am in my back garden sipping on some iced water in the shade and still sweating one out. Super British.

The discomfort from this heat today reminded me of a topic I’ve wanting to talk about for a while on my blog, and that is that in order to grow and progress we all need to face a level of discomfort.

This is something I have lived by since reading Jen Sincero’s book How to Be a Badass back in March of this year, and every time I feel myself getting a little too comfortable with something I remind myself that discomfort often leads to progression.

I know that may sound a little harsh and even writing it feels wrong in a sense, because why would we want to make ourselves uncomfortable right? Especially if we’re happy? But just hear me out okay…

So picture your idol in your head, someone really successful who inspires and motivates you to want to pursue your dreams. Whether that’s wanting a killer body like Kendall Jenner or wanting to have the authority and mind of Alan Sugar, it’s all the same.

In order for these people to be as successful as they are do you think the road was easy? For any Kardashian haters out there I’m sure you’re all silently thinking that Kendall Jenner didn’t have to try to become a super-model since her name essentially brought her fame, but I completely disagree with you.

If Kendall Jenner didn’t have the drive and mindset to succeed she wouldn’t have made it, and that’s facts. She had to get out of her comfort zone and face challenges just like the rest of us will in order to reach our long-term goals and achieve our greatest desires.

What I’m trying to say is, in order to progress and better yourself you need to make a habit of/ get used to the feeling of discomfort. Constantly push yourself, and eventually you’ll get to where you want to be.

Often I know if I’m making the right decision based on my gut feeling. Something that excites me, yet scares me and makes me feel uncomfortable is most likely what I’ll go after. Life’s all about learning and bettering yourself, it’s a journey that you make for you and only you. Make it as fulfilling as you can.

Because being uncomfortable is great… just not 38 degree weather.

All my love,

HG

Fear of the unsuccessful

You know I was asked recently what I was most scared of. Initially I couldn’t think of anything since I’m not the kind of girl who winces at spiders or faints at the sight of blood. For me I’ve always been fearful of being unsuccessful, and I think this is where the whole concept of pressuring myself comes into action.

You see, I take things too seriously sometimes because I’m always striving for more. I’m rarely satisfied because I love to push myself to the maximum, and if I’m working/studying something unfulfilling it really affects me, and I find myself getting frustrated because I’m not at my full potential.

Along with working on living with uncertainty I’m working on living in the present. It’s super important for me and my mental well-being to appreciate the journey, because success doesn’t often happen over-night. I suppose it depends what you determine as ‘success’ too. If success was waking up in the morning with a positive outlook every day I would be successful a lot of the time.

I think part of the problem with my generation is that there’s always a want/need for more. This is due to constant comparison. What we forget is that we should be working towards bettering our lives for ourselves! Not for anyone else, not to be able to compare further and judge each other’s achievements. We are all running our own race in our own time. Love the journey and embrace it, believe that you will make it and you will.

All my love,

HG

Over-coming anxiety- part 5

Hello beautiful world, this is the final post I will be making on over-coming anxiety but if you want more posts like this just let me know in the comment section down below! I’ve been feeling very motivated recently, if you’ve read my last post you’d understand that I’m slowly coming to terms with living with uncertainty and not always having a plan. I just think that by putting all our hopes and dreams into one plan, one direction, if we come across bumps in the road or things don’t go as they ‘should have’ we get dissapointed and more sad than we should do. Personally I think that this was always part of the problem with my own anxiety, my awareness that this may be something I should work on has helped considerably in a recovery from something that got me down more than I realised at first.

So this final post is all about ensuring you’re loving yourself, and that you allow yourself the time you need to heal yourself. The process isn’t going to be over-night, and you will have your wobbles every now and then, but overall you’ll be a better person mentally and physically. Healing anxiety isn’t just about improving mental health, it’s about following your soul and changing your lifestyle for the better. It’s the reason I’m partly against taking medication for it, because in my opinion that’s more of a quick fix, instant help, that won’t heal you internally but give the false impression that you’re doing good. Of course if you’re really struggling and medication is what you need I encourage that! But in order to help yourself in the long-term you need to start getting honest with yourself, dig deep to discover where all this is stemming from, what is laying in your subconscious that is making you anxious?

Over-coming anxiety will be a steady process, and you’ll find a few hurdles along the way that may distract you from your end goal. The most important thing is not to fall and stay down. You pick yourself up every single freaking time and dust yourself off, keep moving, keep progressing, because that’s life! Life will throw hurdles at you, whether it’s in work or personal stuff, it’s going to happen, but you can’t use that as an exuse to stop the process of bettering yourself.

It’s like my breakup—- in case you didn’t realise this is what my The Broken Pearl blog post is about. That was a major hurdle for me, I was the one who did the breaking up but that didn’t make it much easier for me. I know I did the right thing, and I’m still glad I did it, I have no regrets. I gave myself 3 days to mourn and not do much at all, after that I had to start being productive again, and I stuck to it. Don’t wallow in pity and negativity, pick yourself up from that shit because you’re so much better than that. Allow yourself time, set a date when you need to get back on track and stick with it.

Have faith in yourself, if you’re not all for it it’s only going to make it harder for you. Believe you’ll overcome it and you will. I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, the energy you put out to the world you receive. The way I envision it is, when you’re in a good mood and radiating good energy you have on a pair of glasses with lenses which only allow you to see love, colour and positivity. If you’re in a bad mood the negative spectacles come on and that’s all you’ll see… The thing we all forget is that we can change those glasses whenever we like you just have to change your perspective, change your mood, the world is only what you make it. Life is the dancer and you are the dance. Never forget that.

This is the post for you to come back to when you need to become motivated again, because you may need it. If I can do it you sure can, I beleive in youuuuuuuu. Let the journey commense.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Make mistakes

Good morning beautiful world, I’m currently at Centre Parcs enjoying a Starbucks whilst everyone else goes swimming. If you’re a girl who fake tans you’ll know that chlorine literally makes you look like a lizard so it’s truly not worth swimming especially since I’ve just re-done my whole body. Anyway…

We all know I went to South Africa recently, nothing new to say about that which I haven’t already said, except that it really did act as a second awakening for me. Sometimes we have to experience things in order to discover if it’s your cup of tea, but not everyone likes tea, some people like coffee. Although I adored South Africa and really appreciated the whole experience it made me realise that I wasn’t overly fussed about studying it in the long-term. 

Arriving back home I had a bit of a breakdown because it felt like I had just taken another 10 steps backwards with how far I had come since February when I stopped my counselling as I felt I had a sense of direction again. Now I was back to square one, what do I want to do with myself? 

And who do I confide in when my mind is troubled? My mum. So we had a long chat about how I felt, because in myself I knew I was unhappy and I had the urge, that gut feeling, that studying animal conservation wasn’t right for me at this moment in time. 

My mum told me something I realised I needed to hear and that was that it’s okay to live with uncertainty and that not everything has to be planned and known for definite. I think because I’m such an organised person 90% of the time this has always been something I’ve struggled with, I’m a bit of a perfectionist I would say and this is because I like winning. I’m a very competitive person you see, which has its pro’s and cons of course. 

Living with uncertainty is kind of a crazy concept for me, but it’s something I’m trying to get better at. I think having anxiety doesn’t help with this, but I don’t think that’s the only reason, as I said I think it’s just my personality to be organised and planned. 

But we don’t always need a freaking plan! Now is the time to make mistakes, to change our minds over and over again until one day we know what we want to do when we’re asked! Who knows what I’m destined to do, I know I’ll be successful at whatever I do but I don’t know what it is yet and that’s okay! Too much pressure is put on the younger generation to know what we want so that we get forced into job roles that don’t suit us or we outgrow. 

It’s never too late to change your mind or change career path. Always trust your gut, follow your soul and find your happiness. One day you’ll know what you want to do, because you’ve made all the mistakes you can, and that’s part of life.

All my love,

HG

(The Broken Pearl)

Over-coming anxiety- part 4

Hello beautiful people, how have you all been? Being out of my routines for so long has left me feeling rather de-motivated and lazy to be honest, and that resulted in me not feeling so good in myself. Today I’ve started a project come back for myself, I went over all the goals I have made for this year and revised how I was going to make them happen, the short-term and the long-term. Since we’re over halfway through the year I would highly encourage this of everyone, go over your resolutions or goals for this year and go over how you’re going to make that happen. It’s super important to stay focused, never lose sight of what you desire.

This all ties into the topic for my fourth post on over-coming anxiety which is staying commited to the routines and little things which help motivate and inspire you, the things that help create a positive mindset for yourself and create a forcefield for negative thoughts and emotions.

We all break routines from time to time and this is normal, it’s also important to remember not to be too hard on yourself if you’re not up for meditating or couldn’t find the time to exercise on one of the 7 days in the week. Being too strict with yourself will only result in these things becoming a chore for you, not things that actually help and relieve you from a troubled mind.

For me my routine includes waking up and not allowing myself to go on my phone for at least an hour. By waking up and immediatly looking at what other people are doing instead of prioritising what you could be doing with yourself, will only distract you from any goals or things you want to get done in the day. Writing a list of things to get done in the day and then writing down how I’m feeling and resolving any problems in my journal is what keeps me focused and positive throughout the day. In immediatly dealing with or emptying you mind of worry in the morning, you are more likely to have a more fulfilled and positive day, as you’re essentially losing the burden of carrying around stress with you.

I can’t emphasise enough in how having a positive mental attitude can change and releive you of anxiety and low mood. Lifestyle change is just as beneficial, becoming more active and eating for wellness and health will naturally help too. But in building a routine of little things such as meditating or going on a daily morning walk which helps calm your mind and ground you will gradually cause improvements with your self-esteem and a decrease in an anxious mind.

Try it out, find out what works for you, write down the routine so that it’s set in stone, try it for 2 weeks, write daily and notice the change and improvements by reflecting back in your journal.

Something I should do more of is reading jounral entries from months ago, sometimes I forget how far I have come with my anxiety. It’s humbling to have been somewhere so dark and low, it makes everything else, any improvement, a day of positivity and love 100X more exciting and I have so much more gratitude for the smaller things. Although we all think our anxiety is a burden from time to time, it makes us ensightful to the smaller things, opening our eyes and finding enjoyment and gratitude in things that would be overlooked by most.

Remember this is a jounrey, don’t expect immediate results, be kind to yourself and be patient. You’ve got this.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Over-coming anxiety part 3

I just wanted to start this post by saying that although you may perceive this series as a sign that I’m 100% clear of anxiety this is not the case, and that’s normal. Your anxiety makes you who you are and sometimes it may pop up to say hello. It’s just learning to manage it and control it, it’s important not to fear your anxiety but treat it as a part of you, remember it doesn’t have to be a negative. Travelling to South Africa last week was rather hard for me I’m not going to lie to you guys, I had a bit of a panic on my second plane journey and as soon as I got here had a mini panic about making friends and did experience a wave of anxiety for a couple of days.
Obviously it’s hard and it’s frustrating because I’ve come so far you know, I’m a changed person to how I was a few months ago and all it takes is for me to be 5,000 miles from home, on my own and I start to forget everything I’ve taught myself. 

This is why having routines and understanding yourself comes into play, all you need is a few things that you can do that will help ground you to the present. I find that the reason I get anxious or low is because I look ahead too far into the future, and forget to appreciate the present moment. Living and breathing the present is so freaking important! I preach it. As cliché as it may sound I find that this is one of the biggest ways of overcoming anxiety, and you can help yourself do this in various ways, all it takes is a bit of experimenting and time and eventually you’ll be an expert at mastering gratitude for the present moment. 

This may all sound a little mad, but I find that it has helped me considerably, even if you don’t have anxiety this is something we should all work on! So often we forget to appreciate everything happening around us now, because we’re either thinking ahead or we’re sucked into our phone screens becoming caught up in other people’s lives rather than our own!

So these are the tricks I have learnt to help become present: MEDITATION- I will always swear by meditation, even though I may not do it every day I know that by quietening your mind you will cut that thought process of worry and far-thinking and this will help ground you to the present. 
BEING OUTSIDE- I know this may sound silly but in being outside you get to appreciate more, and distract your mind, fresh air is also really good for clearing your head. Being in an enclosed room by yourself will only worsen your anxiety, get yourself outside, go for a walk and appreciate your surroundings.
FOCUS ON YOUR BREATH- again it may sound silly but simply closing your eyes and focusing on your breath will again help break the thought process of overthinking, you can seek gratitude for the health of your body and the air that you breathe. I’m not crazy I swear, it’s just the little things that can help you out here!
START WRITING A GRATITUDE JOURNAL- this will seriously help you, because writing a list of at least 3 things in the day that you’re grateful for will help ground your throughout the day, because you’ll be paying attention to the little things that make your day such as a smile from a stranger or appreciation for the book you’re reading. 

Of course you can come up with your own ways of becoming grounded and present, these are just my own personal ways of finding appreciation and calming my mind. I hope you’re all having an amazing morning, afternoon, evening or night wherever you are in the world! I’ll be back again with another post about South Africa towards the end of this week.

All my love,
HG 
(The Broken Pearl )