Manifestation

Hello beautiful world and welcome back to my blog. How are you today? Take a moment to sit down and tap into how you’re really feeling, find appreciation and gratitude for anything and everything and just breathe. That’s what I’ve been trying to get better at recently, because I feel like I haven’t been tapping into how I’m truly feeling enough, and that’s because I’m scared.

When we feel negative emotions we want to ignore them, but it’s okay to feel sad or a little lost sometimes, if anything it’s totally normal and you should embrace it! This is something I’m still working on. Yes, I apologise because most of my posts must seem pretty samey recently, but I’m still powering through this awkward phase of my life.

I know deep down that my soul is trying to find a deeper meaning for me, and it’s all about maintaining faith that something amazing is about to come round the corner and sweep me off my feet, then I’ll look back and think- wow I’ve come so far, and I’m so glad that happened in order for me to get here.

Recently if I go running in the mornings (and by a run I mean 40% running 60% walking) I go on a route which takes me past my local church. I’m fortunate enough to live in a cute country village, where it’s calm and peaceful so running anywhere is pretty chilled. Yet I’d run past this church so many times and completely ignored it, because it was just part of the scenery.

Last week, I stepped inside. I don’t know who opens up this church so early but I usually go in about 8:30am or so, and the place is pretty dark with a little morning light and its dead silent… For some this may seem a little creepy but for me it was oddly calming.

I sat myself down in a pue and clasped my hands together. I was baptised as a Christian so I have been to church before it’s just something I was forced to do as a kid (kind of), this was me willingly getting down on my knees and praying… and it was awesome.

At this point in my job searching process I had had no responses, and I was feeling a little lost. So I asked for some guidance, I asked, I begged, for a sign for something to change, for a hand to hold, for strength in order to keep my faith. I know for some of you this may seem a little stupid, but I honestly just poured my heart out, emptied myself of any worries and then got up and left feeling 10 stone lighter than I did going in.

That same day I had a phone call about two different job interviews. That’s when I realised that the Law of Attraction works. If you put it out into the world, you ask for it, get down on your knees for it, it’ll manifest.

It’s about holding strong and keeping your head high, never fall down or settle for less than you deserve. I know that something exciting is on it’s way to me, yes I don’t know what exactly it is, but I know it’s there.

Sometimes uncertainty is okay, and it’s something I’ve been working on. Focus on yourself, don’t be comparitive because that won’t get you anywhere. If you truly want something and believe it’s yours, you’ve got it, just keep moving towards it in any way you can.

In the darkness there is always light- or something like that from the bible.

All my love,

HG

Fear of the unsuccessful

You know I was asked recently what I was most scared of. Initially I couldn’t think of anything since I’m not the kind of girl who winces at spiders or faints at the sight of blood. For me I’ve always been fearful of being unsuccessful, and I think this is where the whole concept of pressuring myself comes into action.

You see, I take things too seriously sometimes because I’m always striving for more. I’m rarely satisfied because I love to push myself to the maximum, and if I’m working/studying something unfulfilling it really affects me, and I find myself getting frustrated because I’m not at my full potential.

Along with working on living with uncertainty I’m working on living in the present. It’s super important for me and my mental well-being to appreciate the journey, because success doesn’t often happen over-night. I suppose it depends what you determine as ‘success’ too. If success was waking up in the morning with a positive outlook every day I would be successful a lot of the time.

I think part of the problem with my generation is that there’s always a want/need for more. This is due to constant comparison. What we forget is that we should be working towards bettering our lives for ourselves! Not for anyone else, not to be able to compare further and judge each other’s achievements. We are all running our own race in our own time. Love the journey and embrace it, believe that you will make it and you will.

All my love,

HG

Over-coming anxiety- part 5

Hello beautiful world, this is the final post I will be making on over-coming anxiety but if you want more posts like this just let me know in the comment section down below! I’ve been feeling very motivated recently, if you’ve read my last post you’d understand that I’m slowly coming to terms with living with uncertainty and not always having a plan. I just think that by putting all our hopes and dreams into one plan, one direction, if we come across bumps in the road or things don’t go as they ‘should have’ we get dissapointed and more sad than we should do. Personally I think that this was always part of the problem with my own anxiety, my awareness that this may be something I should work on has helped considerably in a recovery from something that got me down more than I realised at first.

So this final post is all about ensuring you’re loving yourself, and that you allow yourself the time you need to heal yourself. The process isn’t going to be over-night, and you will have your wobbles every now and then, but overall you’ll be a better person mentally and physically. Healing anxiety isn’t just about improving mental health, it’s about following your soul and changing your lifestyle for the better. It’s the reason I’m partly against taking medication for it, because in my opinion that’s more of a quick fix, instant help, that won’t heal you internally but give the false impression that you’re doing good. Of course if you’re really struggling and medication is what you need I encourage that! But in order to help yourself in the long-term you need to start getting honest with yourself, dig deep to discover where all this is stemming from, what is laying in your subconscious that is making you anxious?

Over-coming anxiety will be a steady process, and you’ll find a few hurdles along the way that may distract you from your end goal. The most important thing is not to fall and stay down. You pick yourself up every single freaking time and dust yourself off, keep moving, keep progressing, because that’s life! Life will throw hurdles at you, whether it’s in work or personal stuff, it’s going to happen, but you can’t use that as an exuse to stop the process of bettering yourself.

It’s like my breakup—- in case you didn’t realise this is what my The Broken Pearl blog post is about. That was a major hurdle for me, I was the one who did the breaking up but that didn’t make it much easier for me. I know I did the right thing, and I’m still glad I did it, I have no regrets. I gave myself 3 days to mourn and not do much at all, after that I had to start being productive again, and I stuck to it. Don’t wallow in pity and negativity, pick yourself up from that shit because you’re so much better than that. Allow yourself time, set a date when you need to get back on track and stick with it.

Have faith in yourself, if you’re not all for it it’s only going to make it harder for you. Believe you’ll overcome it and you will. I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, the energy you put out to the world you receive. The way I envision it is, when you’re in a good mood and radiating good energy you have on a pair of glasses with lenses which only allow you to see love, colour and positivity. If you’re in a bad mood the negative spectacles come on and that’s all you’ll see… The thing we all forget is that we can change those glasses whenever we like you just have to change your perspective, change your mood, the world is only what you make it. Life is the dancer and you are the dance. Never forget that.

This is the post for you to come back to when you need to become motivated again, because you may need it. If I can do it you sure can, I beleive in youuuuuuuu. Let the journey commense.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl

Make mistakes

Good morning beautiful world, I’m currently at Centre Parcs enjoying a Starbucks whilst everyone else goes swimming. If you’re a girl who fake tans you’ll know that chlorine literally makes you look like a lizard so it’s truly not worth swimming especially since I’ve just re-done my whole body. Anyway…

We all know I went to South Africa recently, nothing new to say about that which I haven’t already said, except that it really did act as a second awakening for me. Sometimes we have to experience things in order to discover if it’s your cup of tea, but not everyone likes tea, some people like coffee. Although I adored South Africa and really appreciated the whole experience it made me realise that I wasn’t overly fussed about studying it in the long-term. 

Arriving back home I had a bit of a breakdown because it felt like I had just taken another 10 steps backwards with how far I had come since February when I stopped my counselling as I felt I had a sense of direction again. Now I was back to square one, what do I want to do with myself? 

And who do I confide in when my mind is troubled? My mum. So we had a long chat about how I felt, because in myself I knew I was unhappy and I had the urge, that gut feeling, that studying animal conservation wasn’t right for me at this moment in time. 

My mum told me something I realised I needed to hear and that was that it’s okay to live with uncertainty and that not everything has to be planned and known for definite. I think because I’m such an organised person 90% of the time this has always been something I’ve struggled with, I’m a bit of a perfectionist I would say and this is because I like winning. I’m a very competitive person you see, which has its pro’s and cons of course. 

Living with uncertainty is kind of a crazy concept for me, but it’s something I’m trying to get better at. I think having anxiety doesn’t help with this, but I don’t think that’s the only reason, as I said I think it’s just my personality to be organised and planned. 

But we don’t always need a freaking plan! Now is the time to make mistakes, to change our minds over and over again until one day we know what we want to do when we’re asked! Who knows what I’m destined to do, I know I’ll be successful at whatever I do but I don’t know what it is yet and that’s okay! Too much pressure is put on the younger generation to know what we want so that we get forced into job roles that don’t suit us or we outgrow. 

It’s never too late to change your mind or change career path. Always trust your gut, follow your soul and find your happiness. One day you’ll know what you want to do, because you’ve made all the mistakes you can, and that’s part of life.

All my love,

HG

(The Broken Pearl)

YOU’RE WORTHY

So we all know how it is to feel worthless and useless right? If you haven’t you’re a very fortunate person and I envy you considerably. But often what we don’t realise is that the reason we feel worthless is due to the fact that we allow other people too much control over our emotions, we rely on their opinion of us to affirm our own opinion of ourselves… and that’s not good. 

This post today is about taking that control back, and never allowing anyone else’s opinion of you to topple your own, never allow anyone that pink plane windowpower over you. This is especially evident in relationships. How many young girls rely on some dirty trash of a guy’s opinion in order to feel fulfilled and good enough? Why should we allow someone the power to control how we feel? The answer is we should NOT. 

Recently for me after going through a breakup I allowed myself to become lower in self-worth because of this one dude I met like 3 times. This guy intimidated me, he was older, very ambitious and successful. Consequently I thought he was a rather arrogant person, which can obviously become unattractive when not in moderation. So this intimidation and feeling that he was better than me (since he’d been so successful) led to me believing that I had no worth and that everything I had made for myself through my blog and YouTube was useless. All this from meeting up with a guy 3 bloody times!!!

It’s like I forgot all about ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ and that I control my own worth, no one else should be given that control. The problem was I allowed this dude the power to change my worth, making me forget how freaking amazing I am, making me doubtful and lowering my overall frequency. 

pink cloudsNow, I know I am not the only girl that has had this experience with boys that they’re seeing. If you’re feeling low and depressed due to a guy who isn’t showing or giving you the attention you so rightfully deserve, get rid of him, throw him in the trash. You and you alone set the bar for what you deserve. If you believe you deserve someone who is lazy with no ambition you’ll attract and accept people like that. You’re better than that, you deserve to set that bar as high as you can, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are a bad b*tch, an independent woman, who does not need a mans attention and appreciation to feel whole. 

I just feel like so many of us fall into this trap, subconsciously. I mean I would say I’m a pretty strong young lady and even I get sucked into this vicious circle. I think at the end of the day we all like the attention, but we deserve the best sort of attention, not the arse who isn’t giving you the love you deserve. 

Remember this ladies and gents, I think we all need to hear it sometimes. 

All my love, 

HG

(The Broken Pearl) 

Over-coming anxiety: Part 1

So… The big, scary, intimidating yet often overused word of ANXIETY. In this day and age it seems as though everyone has anxiety, yet it doesn’t get talked about, normalised or accepted enough.

In this series of blog posts I’m going to talk to you guys about my experiences of having anxiety, and how I’ve ‘cured’ myself in a sense. I truly do feel like a better person for it, and although counselling is an amazing option and should be considered you don’t necessarily need it. In the advice that I give, and the support we can give each other in the comments or over email, we’re going to make you into the best version of yourself you can possibly be!

So as I’ve mentioned to you all previously I have in the recent year suffered from anxiety which spiralled into a form of depression for me. If you met me now you would never guess it, and this is the problem with mental health, people don’t see past what you give them on the exterior. Even in my worst most darkest periods I continued to keep up the smile even though I was broken on the inside, it’s why I call myself the Broken Pearl because we all have our cracks and flaws and that’s what makes us beautiful.

For me my anxiety was a subconcsious thing for many years, looking back to when I was as young as 10 I would have panic attacks in the middle of lessons. The feeling of my lungs filling up with water, sweating, struggling to breathe, while somehow remaining that calm exterior, convincing myself this was normal and that it wasn’t something I should be concerned about. This is the problem, there isn’t enough recognition for mental health, if I had known from that age that this was anxiety I could have prevented rather than had the trouble of curing my really bad anxiety in my early adult-hood!

The first step to over-coming anxiety is not allowing yourself to be ignorant to it, it’s about having the awareness that you may need help and that this is something that needs to be fixed in a sense. However, your anxiety does not have to be a negative, it does not make you a broken person. As I said earlier when I related us all to broken pearls, our cracks aren’t flaws they make us into our perfect beautiful selves, you can make your anxiety into a positive.

Fuck it, I’m grateful for the fact I have and have had severe anxiety. There I said it. For me my anxiety has been a turning point in my life, it was a wake up call that I was on the wrong track and it turned me around, re-awakening me to new joys and a new perspective on life. I truly believe a third eye for me was opened through my anxiety, and I became connected to my spirituality. I will forever be grateful for that, and you will be too, the moment you recognise your anxiety and give into it, accept it, is the moment everything changes.

All my love,

The Broken Pearl