Playing the victim

So, I’d just got in from a really hectic day at work, I was mentally drained, but physically I could run a marathon. So I did… (not quite), but I ran and ran and the rain was pouring, and energy was just pouring out of me.

I got in and didn’t really feel much of a sense of relief, so I decided to have a bath, because if really pushing myself wasn’t going to shake this maybe I should try the opposite right? A bath would calm me and centre me again, and what better thing to do for ultimate relaxation than listen to an inspiring podcast?

I’d put on an episode from Christen Brown on – and if you haven’t heard of this lady I would seriously recomend her, she specialises in relationships but that’s not really what I go to listen to her about. She’s a very centred woman, who has experienced and been through a lot, but she maintains faith with the Universe and she’s all about keeping an eye out for signs that will help guide us on our paths.

In this particular episode, she was explaining how God helps us in mysterious ways, and sometimes if we don’t question the things that happen around us and take them as signs to progress and move forward then we end up playing the victim, our Ego takes over inside and we get all defensive, the ‘I don’t deserve this’ comes forward.

That was it. And at the time in the bath I didn’t realise. But as soon as I went downstairs for dinner I realised there was this knot of tension inside me, I wasn’t myself and I was aware of that and then it clicked. I have been playing the victim this whole time.

I was making it out as though my life was so hard, everything was working against me and it wasn’t fair, I felt mentally and spiritually stuck, I’ve been uninspired to write my blog and I’ve been struggling in my job. I felt like the Universe was against me and in thinking this I was sinking deeper into the mud. I was getting myself even more sticky and stuck, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

If I really thought about it for a second I would realise that the Universe had actually been providing me with everything I had asked for. I had the job, my social life has got 10X better than it used to be. (I mean fuck, when I was in a bad place with anxiety even seeing those people I felt closest to was hard because I had become so insecure.) I have met someone who I’m pretty convinced is the male version of me we get along so well!

In all, I should be really happy. So why wasn’t I? Why wasn’t I progressing?

Because I was playing victim.

It’s time for me to man up, if something isn’t working I really need to put in the time and energy to make something else work that would fulfill me more.

This isn’t me admiting defeat in the respect that I’m going to force myself to pursue something I strongly dislike, this is me telling myself and you too, that there is another way. The Universe is on your side, but the Universe can only do so much.

It will provide you with the ingrediants, but you have to make the cake.

Have a beautiful evening my loves, I hope you enjoyed this post, it’s time to get our mogo on and start inspiring ourselves, bring those frequencies higher and start loving ourselves again. Because we are awesome.

All my love,

HG

Lets Get Deep

Hello beautiful world! Today I wanted to enlighten you all on a new book that I’m reading, since I’m all about soul searching and motivational writing. This one is called- The Seat of the Soul: An Inspiring vision of humanity’s spiritual destiny written by Gary Zukav.

To those of you who perhaps don’t believe in souls, or a higher being, whether you call it the Universe or God, this may seem a little daunting to you. But I beg don’t click off this post just yet! The concept of souls, and spirituality doesn’t have to be super serious, we don’t need to all run around naked in fields or make excessive humming sounds in a dark room to feel connected to our souls or have a sense of spirituality- although if that’s what it is for you, go get it!

I think so many people dismiss everything around this topic because it hasn’t been proved by science and blah blah blah. There’s no physical evidence and blah blah blah. Anddddd this is a book, and we all know how people in my generation (I’m a melenial baby by the way) dismiss books in general because they’re not fast paced enough for the culture we live in (which I totally disagree with- by the way).

One of the points Zukav introduces in the first chapter of this book is that many people only view the world as the physical place that it is, understandable right since there’s no proof of an invisable realm? The trouble is that by limiting ourselves to the belief of that of the physical realm the basis of life becomes fear, because it’s all about ‘Survival of the fittest’, we feel this need to control our environment and those within it. This power desired to control our environment, this physical dominance, is external therefore it can be lost, brought or stolen.

Money itself is the very symbol of external power. Those with more money have more ability to control their envirnment, because it gives a sense of security to us it becomes an external power. We all fear vulnerability, because of external power.

I don’t know if that made any sense to some of you, but that was me trying to summarise half of the first chapter. Authentic power is deeper, it’s loving without judgement, it’s aliging thoughts and emotions with our higher selves so we are filled with enthusiasm and a sense of purpose. No more fear, because we are no longer victims to external power. Effectively, if you’re living in a state of fear, the decisions you make are going to be unconscious ones meaning you’ll go on evolving unconsciously. By connecting to your soul, trusting in a higher being, you will be choosing more consciously and therefore evolving consciously finding greater meaning in everything you do and getting more fulfillment from life.

“Every circumstance and situation gives you the opportunity to choose this path, to allow your soul to shine through you.”

It may all sound pretty intense to some of you, but even if you don’t believe in spirituality there’s a whole lot to learn from this book (this is not an AD- by the way) just in terms of phycology! Pushing aside the Universe and God the concept of opening your eyes to something bigger than our eyes allow us to see is crazy. Give it a try, you might enjoy it.

All my love,

HG